And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

(via ginger-at-war)



Science has proven that: 

  • Humans have auras
  • Humans have organs that sense energy
  • We inherit memories from our anscestors
  • Meditation repairs telomeres in DNA, which slows the process of aging. 
  • Compassion extends life
  • Love is more than just an emotion
  • Billions of other universes exist 
  • Meditation speeds healing


(via ginger-at-war)

me with a fairy godmother

her: you will go to the ball!!!!!~~~~

me: nah

her: i

her: what?

me: can you turn the pumpkin into a bigger pumpkin so i can make a really detailed carving

her: i

her: i mean yes that's possible with magic but

me: okay cool go for it

her: but the ball. the prince

me: hahahahahaha

me: nah